Blast From the Past

Saturday, October 21, 2006

The Town Centre

Due to the need of some to go into town to get absolutely pissed means that we need officers in the town centre so that we can offer our assistance in pointing out where clubs/bars are, and also to help all those people who are "wanting to join the police" with their questions, and also to give people free lifts home.

In Scroatsville, we have a "no shit" policy. Obviously this is not an official policy (for the term no shit if far to short, and if it were a real policy, the name would be some what different, and totally unrelated to what it is about!)

Each officer goes out armed with a pad full of £80 PND's hoping to return back to the station in the knowledge that, well, there will be some regrets in the morning by happy customers!

The two favourites for PND's are:

1) Section 5 Public Order
2) Drunk and Disorderly

I personally prefer number 2 as it means that no crimes have to be booked on, however it does have a downside in that its not a detection (as far as I am aware!)
But on the bright side it takes a couple of minutes on the street to give one, thus meaning more time to give plenty more out in the hope it will deter other idiots who ay be witness to this.

Drunks seem to lose all common sense. One bloke came up to myself, and three other officers and wanted to shake out hands. We didnt. He got told nicely to go away as he was drunk and making a fool of himself. This wasnt good enough. He carried on being a fool and not listening and taking an issue with the skipper. He then went on to insult one of the officers mothers. Enough is enough. Start to write out a D&D ticket for him but no, he doesnt want this as he "knows his rights". Fair enough - your nicked. After him being humiliated waiting at the side of the road in handcuffs for all to see whilst a van made its way through the see of drunk idiots. We got him back to custody and begin to book him in. He now decides he wants to sue us all for "APH" whatever that is. Yes mate, ok, have a nice sleep, I will come see you later when I get time!
I did go back early hours of the morning, gave him his PND and kicked him out. Oh, and he still wanted to sue everyone for "everything we have got!"

Prime example of drink causing him to be a fool. He could have walked away with nothing - but no! He then could have walked away with an £80 PND - but no! So he got locked up for 5 hours whilst he sobered up, and an £80 fine. Yes your mrs will kill you when you get home!

Friday and Saturday nights differ from every other night in the week, for on these nights, people are totally "innocent". Since its the end of the week, we like to catch up on our missed detections so arrest anyone for anything in the hope that they are too drunk to realise. However, they are far to clever for this tactic so when we arrest them for "doin nuffink rong" they plead their innocence. "I didnt mean to smash that bottle on the wall and glass him 6 times accidently on purpose". If Scroatsville got a pound for each time someone stated that they were innocent, they wouldnt have to worry about their finances!

Another town centre idiotic thing to do is run from the police. Everywhere in the centre is on cctv, there are loads of police about, why run. Apparently they like to though, and last night, straight into me on two seperate incidents. Bit silly of them! One only ran because he thought we wanted to arrest him for doing nothing wrong. Fair enough, if you want to end up on the floor with 4 coppers sat on you fair enough. The other had just assaulted someone so that was a good catch.

Another Friday/Saturday night thing is that people always seem to come up to the van and want to talk utter shite. Either want to chat you up, or ask why your not out catching rapists and murderers, or even worse, realise that they have no prospect of pulling so desperatly try to entice you as they pop out of their top with kebab sauce dripping down their face. Apparently this look is very sexy.
Dont you just love the town centre!
What other Friday/Saturday night stuff happens where you police?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I generally enjoy my foot patrols around town on Friday & Saturday nights, fool that I am. Tonight I thought that I was gonna have a Saturday evening much like yours, but instead I made the fortunate move of jumping into the rear seat of one of our pursuit vehicles at just the right time... a stolen vehicle was being driven erratically at speed through town.

After a few minutes of following the silly sod at speed, we reached a junction. Apparently unable to decide whether to turn left or right, the young driver decided instead to drive straight ahead at a conveniently placed roadsign, ending the pursuit and ensuring himself a breakfast lovingly served up by our custody team in the process.

We don't get much TWOCing in these parts, so it was quite an enjoyable way to end the evening!

Poison-Dwarf said...

You don't fancy doing some shifts in Eastfield do you? We could use some pro-active policing.
http://antisocialwatch.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Wish we could do PNDs on the street, if there is even any suspicion that someone has consumed alcohol the PND must be issued in custody after arrest. So much for saving time

Anonymous said...

How do you issue a PND on the street for D&D?
If your drunk your unfit to make the decision to accept one therefore any issued are illegal.

ExtraSpecialCopper said...

In briefing the same question was asked about its issue. It does not say in government guidelines about having had a drink. If they can understand why they are being given the ticket then its fine - if they are on the floor totally out of it then we cant just stick ticket in their pocket. This was confirmed by the sgt and inspector that we are able to issue D&D on the street if they understand. If your having a chat with the drunk fool, then quite clearly they understand whats going on

PC South West said...

I have to say I am not a big fan of the PND, especially giving them out to pissed up twats on the street. The only good thing about them is to keep the cells empty and save money on legal advice and courts.
The big problem is people are not paying them. 400 million in inpaid PND's and 300 million already written off by the government.
The only way to reduce the incidents of drunken brawls and mindless criminal damage is to hit them with huge fines. After all it's these people that are costing the country a fortune in Police and NHS time.