Blast From the Past

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

You Idiot

"Your under arrest for being an idiot"

Not something you hear everyday!
So its just before shift changeover and there is a problem at a local pub. There are people inside who are very drunk and refusing to leave. All free officers from lates and all the night officers turn up just incase something happens. Luckily we have a mans best friend also on the scene - a very very angry (and hungry!) looking dog!

The dog works wonders, makes people leave. Job done!
Or is it?

One bloke deciding to be the brave "I know my rights" type (also drunk) decides to come back across the road and challenge some boring crap which nobody gave a shit about. He got asked nicely to leave by "Rob" (not real name obviously!). He got in mine and Robs face, so I push him back and he is still going on. At this point Rob has had just about enough of him so grabs him and throws him against the van (as he is becoming a bit violent). Myself and Fiona (not real name again!) hold the idiot against the van whilst Rob sprays him.

Fiona gets some of the spray on her and whines about it for the rest of the night, even more so when I take the piss as she got some more in her eyes from her hands several more times during the night!!

The idiot is then grounded to the floor and several officers bundle on him to put the cuffs on him.

Very serious moment this is as he is kicking off a bit, when all of a sudden, Rob kneels down and says "Right mate, your under arrest for being an idiot". This causes most of the officers to laugh and lightens the moment. The idiot is then tossed in the back of the van after putting up some resistance. Bye bye matey boy!

Apparently, according to Rob, being an Idiot now comes under the public order act whch is fantastic. Should be used much much more, that way, we are far more likely to get sanctioned detections as most of the population of Scroatsville are idiots!

(Just like to add that the offender was properly arrested for an actual offence and cautioned!)


LadyCopNY said...

Greetings from across the Atlantic! Over here, in pepper spray training, we were taught to immediately decontaminate ourselves and/or other officers who may have been exposed to the spray... just to avoid "Fiona's" problem.... it only takes water to do so. Surely she could have found some water to rinse off her hands and give her face a good wash?

Joe90 said...

The way some of these people behave at 'chucking out time', they could all be arrested under the Idiot Act of 2006.

ExtraSpecialCopper said...

Ladycopny, thanks for your comment :) Unfortunatly water only gets rid of the "pain" for a bit, letting the wind get into it works well. Luckily it was only a little bit and we just took the mick out of her for a bit - especially later in the car when she stuck her finger in her eye!

Joe - that sounds like a great act! Was quite suprising that this happened as it was just a quiet weekday!

pC 2525 said...

I think English CS is different from force to force, In Nottingham it doesn't help to ad water! It makes it worse there is only one thing to do, Stand in the wind and just wait..

I had to escort three foot patrol officers to the Bridwell the other week, All three had it over their clothes, So I drove with all the windows down. When we got to the Bridwell, I started booking the "35" or arrest in and my eyes started watering.. The SGT told me
"Don't cry Newbie, It is only a section five, you will be in and out of here in no time" and patted me on the shoulder... Much to the 35's entertainment!