Blast From the Past

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Scroatsville vs Greatsville

Any town will have a nice part, and a shit part. My town is 99% shit! (ok, its not really that bad!)

5 Things that tell you your in Scroatsville:

The Smell
- The Most obvious one- there is a distinct smell in the air. Maybe its just from the local takeaway shop? Maybe its the locals who dont know what a shower is?

The Houses - They are in a poor state, usually (Thanks Midlands PC for the suggestion!) a sofa, or fridge in the front garden leaning up against their old Ford Escort, if they have a driveway, which is rare, its usually a jungle of weeds which David Attenborough could film a documentory on.

The Locals - They all seem to wear baseball caps and have big ears. They have odd names such as "Big D" or "Snoop Cat" or other such strange names. They also have a limited vocabulary.

Your Collegue - You have one. Its not often your double crewed (the bosses like to have single crewed cars so it looks like there are more officers about!) However, in Scroatsville, you dont go in on your own!

and lastly

The Brick - This is an object which usually ends up through one of your car windows, usually the side one as it requires minimal effort. Occasionally you may even get your tyres slashed.

5 Things that tell you your in Greatsville:

The Smell - There isnt one. If there is, its pleasant. Its an outdoors smell! A Nice smell!

The Houses - They are immaculate. No G reg old Ford outside here! If there is, its usually the cleaners! Usually Range Rover, BMW X5s etc that sort of vehicle is parked on the driveway, that is before its put into its garage for the night!

The Locals - They smile at you, but on the same note are also curious as to your presence. What has happened? Someone must have been hurt, or being harrassed. Criminals dont live here so its not going to be a raid or anything! Ofcourse, many of the locals are away during the day doing something called "work", a concept not accepted in Scroatesville!

Your Collegue - Your collegue has come to "back you up" at the intruder alarm for no other reason to have a nose at peoples houses and inside as they "check for intruders" (Who else has been in this situation then!!)

Jelousy - You get jelous and think to yourself "when will I get to live here"

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