PSCO's

After a recent TV Show featuring PCSO's, several bloggers have commented on the show.

Disgruntled Cop

PC South West

I have already commented on the subject so will not repeat it, however, found this blog as a result!

PCSO Blog

Will have to keep an eye on this one - should be quite an interesting read!

Hoorah For the Met

One from the other night:

"Any unit available, we have had a call from an off duty Met officer. He has handcuffed himself to his partner and is unable to uncuff himself as he has lost his handcuff key, any officer available?"

Oh how we laughed. All I hope is that some officer took a camera to the job and this photo is now working its way around the met email system!

On another note, I have now added PC South West's blog to my side bar

For The Very First Time

Since Part Time Polis Man has told us about their first shift, I thought I would do the same (probably because I cant think of anything to write about today!)

Anyway, I got all my kit into a big bag and got went to the police station. I had very little clue as to where I was to go when I arrived there. My duty had already been arranged with my "section officer"

I already had my airwave terminal with me as I was issued it at training a few weeks before, so had been listening to it at home picking up all the jargon and generally being a bit of a geek really!
All I needed to be issued with was my pava. I was taken to the store locker for the pava where I took out a cannister, weighed it, and signed it out to myself writing down the cannister number and weight into my pocket note book, which I also just got.
Once I had all this done, I stuck my stabbie on and all my other kit, got my tit hat out, and felt an absolute fool. It felt very very strange.

Anyway, off we go and head into the town centre on this busy Saturday afternoon. In all honesty, I was sh*tting myself!

What if people asked me things? I dont have a clue. So many thoughts going through my head!

We didnt go to any jobs, just plodded around town getting me to do a few PNC checks to get my radio confidence up, which went with no problems.

Was only a brief 4 hour shift, nothing bad happened, I still had all my limbs, my head was still attached, the only difference is that I was eager to get back out again. All those nervous feelings had gone.

Whatever happened to that worried, quiet me all that time ago??

Im interested to hear about your first shifts!

Cancel The Last

Sorted myself a new title thing! What do you think?

Help Needed

If anyone could help me it would be appreciated very much!
I want to make my own title picture for this blog (instead of green road thing) but dont have a clue how to change it. Any help would be fantastic!

Thanks

Anti-Social

Have a look at this blog here. Its one disgruntled residents fight and moans about anti-social behaviour. Some of this sounds all too familier with Scroatsville. Bits I agree with the author, other bits I disagree - none the less very interesting to read and maybe even perhaps attitude changing!

Have had a hectic weekend which I shall write about soon

The Town Centre

Due to the need of some to go into town to get absolutely pissed means that we need officers in the town centre so that we can offer our assistance in pointing out where clubs/bars are, and also to help all those people who are "wanting to join the police" with their questions, and also to give people free lifts home.

In Scroatsville, we have a "no shit" policy. Obviously this is not an official policy (for the term no shit if far to short, and if it were a real policy, the name would be some what different, and totally unrelated to what it is about!)

Each officer goes out armed with a pad full of £80 PND's hoping to return back to the station in the knowledge that, well, there will be some regrets in the morning by happy customers!

The two favourites for PND's are:

1) Section 5 Public Order
2) Drunk and Disorderly

I personally prefer number 2 as it means that no crimes have to be booked on, however it does have a downside in that its not a detection (as far as I am aware!)
But on the bright side it takes a couple of minutes on the street to give one, thus meaning more time to give plenty more out in the hope it will deter other idiots who ay be witness to this.

Drunks seem to lose all common sense. One bloke came up to myself, and three other officers and wanted to shake out hands. We didnt. He got told nicely to go away as he was drunk and making a fool of himself. This wasnt good enough. He carried on being a fool and not listening and taking an issue with the skipper. He then went on to insult one of the officers mothers. Enough is enough. Start to write out a D&D ticket for him but no, he doesnt want this as he "knows his rights". Fair enough - your nicked. After him being humiliated waiting at the side of the road in handcuffs for all to see whilst a van made its way through the see of drunk idiots. We got him back to custody and begin to book him in. He now decides he wants to sue us all for "APH" whatever that is. Yes mate, ok, have a nice sleep, I will come see you later when I get time!
I did go back early hours of the morning, gave him his PND and kicked him out. Oh, and he still wanted to sue everyone for "everything we have got!"

Prime example of drink causing him to be a fool. He could have walked away with nothing - but no! He then could have walked away with an £80 PND - but no! So he got locked up for 5 hours whilst he sobered up, and an £80 fine. Yes your mrs will kill you when you get home!

Friday and Saturday nights differ from every other night in the week, for on these nights, people are totally "innocent". Since its the end of the week, we like to catch up on our missed detections so arrest anyone for anything in the hope that they are too drunk to realise. However, they are far to clever for this tactic so when we arrest them for "doin nuffink rong" they plead their innocence. "I didnt mean to smash that bottle on the wall and glass him 6 times accidently on purpose". If Scroatsville got a pound for each time someone stated that they were innocent, they wouldnt have to worry about their finances!

Another town centre idiotic thing to do is run from the police. Everywhere in the centre is on cctv, there are loads of police about, why run. Apparently they like to though, and last night, straight into me on two seperate incidents. Bit silly of them! One only ran because he thought we wanted to arrest him for doing nothing wrong. Fair enough, if you want to end up on the floor with 4 coppers sat on you fair enough. The other had just assaulted someone so that was a good catch.

Another Friday/Saturday night thing is that people always seem to come up to the van and want to talk utter shite. Either want to chat you up, or ask why your not out catching rapists and murderers, or even worse, realise that they have no prospect of pulling so desperatly try to entice you as they pop out of their top with kebab sauce dripping down their face. Apparently this look is very sexy.
Dont you just love the town centre!
What other Friday/Saturday night stuff happens where you police?

For The Criminals . . .

Thinking of attacking the police? Think again

Another Special

Ladies and gents, cops and robbers,

May I introduce a new Special's blog

Part Time Police Man

Please do take the time to investigate and see what you think!

Am doing a shift tomorrow night in . . . . . the "town centre" so hopefully be some fights, pava, and no arrests! Although I shall ofcourse try to get a few sanctioned detections using the brilliant tool that is a PND!

Want to be a Doggie Man??

Police Dogs Muzzled

Hoorah!! Whilst reading things online this story struck me. Its about time Policy Makers had some common sense and put such a policy in place. After all, we dont want forces to have to pay out hundreds of thousands to innocent people who just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and dont hear the numerous warnings of dogs barking and who fail to think what might happen if the dog is released.

Seriously, what planet do these people live on? Its like spraying people with water instead of pava, incase it burns their eyes causing them to spontaniously combust on exposure.

Surely the point of a police dog is another level in the conflict resolution model. Whereas people may not be to concerned with getting sprayed, or even hit with a baton, they dont particularly want a dog pouncing on them. Surely by putting a muzzle on the dog its, well, giving the criminals something less to fear.

Sadly, I am not a dog handler so cant say when they would be released onto a suspect, but I strongly suspect its not used for ordinary law abiding people, and more for people who are/will be violent etc. So where is the problem? If the person being bitten has done wrong, then tough, you cant sue. Perhaps you shouldnt have been doing what you were doing to gain such response from a police dog.

Yet another example of people in their 9-5 job making up policies for highly trained frontline officers who undertake extensive training for the unique role.

What are your opinions of this be it in support of this (as you are a criminal and have been bitten) or against it, as you have common sense?

(dont forget the post below which I only posted a few hours ago! Oh you lucky people getting two blogs in a space of a few hours!)

End of the Shift

0400 hours on way back to the office after 10 hour shift. Nearly there when coming towards you stopped on a roundabout is a car. There is no other traffic and no reason why this car would be stopped.

Pull a U-Turn and decide to pull the vehicle over for a moving traffic offense.
Matey Boy (Alfie) gets out his car and realises he has a flat tyre.

Ahhh so this might be why he has stopped. Mysef and my collegue then give him a hand to get the stuff out of his car to change the tyre as he doesnt seem to know what he is doing. Still something quite not right. Inside the car smelt a bit, but I blamed the friend of Alfie who was totally pissed, and looked unshowered! Still something not right.

I then requested Alfie to provide a breath test and asked him if he had had anything to drink
He replied no (whilst attempting to change the wheel, yet not having a clue!)

Me: Blow in this
Alfie: No
Me: Blow in this, faliure to do so is an offence for which I will arrest you for
Alfie: But I dont want to blow, I have had a drink so will be over the limit
Me: You might not though, so just blow, what have you got to lose?
Alfie: But I am over the limit though
Me: Fair enough, your nicked

*apply cuffs*

So we stuck him in our car when he decides to kick off. Nice.
Van called, the sergeant gets out, grabs Alfie and chucks him into the cage with a smile on his face. I can only assume it was the smile of "not long until I can go home!!"

Since his mate is stranded out of town we offer to take him to the nick where he can get a bus. He seemed pleasant about this so we take him.
Out the back of the nick he decides once he is out the car he wants to see his mate. He then trys to get back into the car but is shown the way to the bus station and we go in the back gate of the nick.

In custody the fool decides that he doesnt want to blow on the machine (he is very likely to be under the limit now) and after the sergeant and a PC try to convince him, he still refuses.

Fine, whatever. He is then charged with failure to provide and we take him back to his car to pick up some possessions from it (we keep the keys and hand them into front office for him to pick up in morning)

Now its daylight we manage to piece together what has actually happened. His alloy wheel is totally smashed, and airbags in the sides of his car have gone off. There is also a huge dent in the kerb before the roundabout.

Thank god it wasnt a car he went into!!

Anyway, got court date coming soon, obviously he doesnt seem to think he is guilty of failing to provide . . . . how that one works I dont know!!

Two Tier Policing?

The topic of PCSO's is a controversial topic with many good reasons and many bad ones in regards their introduction. There is currently a huge drive to recruit PCSO's in many forces: The Met, Lancashire, BTP, and well, even Scroatsville Police Force! So much emphasis is on recruitment at the moment for PCSO's that in Scroatsville, specials intakes have been put on hold, and regulars intakes have been cut down to only a few a year, and even then not that many on each one.

Is this the answer to crime? Is this the governments solution to problems - by putting "officers" (note: not police officers) onto the streets.

One news story even says that PCSO's are not effective! However it does go on to say that residents of communitys feel safer by their presence. Well, at least that is something then!
(Granted, having a few is a good idea, I know a couple who do a great job, but also know some who are useless!)
So, what can PCSO's do?

PCSOs do not have powers of arrest, cannot interview or process prisoners, cannot investigate crime and do not carry out the more complex and high-risk tasks that police officers perform.

PCSOs spend much of their time on foot patrol, and are a visible, anti-crime presence in communities throughout England and Wales. Because they are so visible, members of the public feel comfortable approaching them with questions or worries about anti-social behaviour or crime.

In Scroatsville, they get paid up to £22,000 per year.

The latest government craze is "neighbourhood policing" and in Scroatsville, we are also adopting these (well, we have to!)

Each team consists of 1 Sergeant, 2/3 PC's, 4/6 Specials, and about 4/6 PCSO's. (Lots of debate about specials joining these teams in Scroatsville at the moment - but will save that for another time!)

So, here it is, my masterplan to avoid a two tier police system which many believes will happen.

1) Get rid of PCSO's
2) Use that money to get regular police officers
Ah, but what about the community based aspect?? I hear you cry!!

Simple solution, which is absolutely brilliant!

Have dedicated "Community Beat Officers". Several per area and they are dedicated to that area! Brilliant idea!

Oh hang on, we have this now.

Care Kids

Touchy topic this one. Firstly, not all kids who are in care are bad, however, I will be talking about the bad apples here.

In Scroatsville, there is a childrens home which when its name comes up on air, you can hear the groans of officers as you instantly know the job is going to be a heap of shit. Nine times out of ten its to take details of a missing person. Now, when you think of the words missing child, it is often met with worry and anguish from concerned parents. However, in this situation it is met with people who run these homes sighing as they have to report the person missing for the 8th time this month.

This means that the police have to turn up and take misper details of this person yet again. You start to know the names of the regulars at this place. So once you have gone through numerous forms (nicely put into one booklet now for ease!)
Once all these have been done you have to go to the mispers room to do a search.
1) to see if they are hiding there (we know that they are not and know that they will be at a friends/parents like they always do)
2) to look for "clues" as to where they will be. No we dont use a magnifying glass. Well, I dont.

After getting abuse from the other kids, we put observations out for them and go look for them, and usually find them and give them a free lift home, thus wasting hours of police time.

Great.

This has already been discussed on various other blogs. I recently went to a foster home (not the same as before but a private house this time) and the language that the kids were using as was the foster mother was awful!! Yes I hear this all the time, but surely (dont laugh now. . . .) someone with responsibility should not be encouraging this behave like this!

Now I realise I am talking crap as this sort of thinking does not occur in Scroatsville. Its the norm for bad parenting/youths being disrespectful. Perhaps whats needed is some sort of test in order to procreate.
What would you put on such a test to determine whether or not someone should be a parent?? Results will be posted soon

Police Cuts

It seems that Northamptonshire Police and Leicestershire Police are both having to "cut" the numbers of police officers to save up to £6 million each!
The reasons we are given for this is that the government has not given the police forces, errr, services, enough money.

This leads me to think of a few things.

1) Force Mergers - how much money did the Government cause police forces to waste on these failed mergers? Surely (no, make that definitly!) this money could have been used for the shortfall in police funding!

2) PCSOs - Why is it that forces are recruiting a small army of PCSO's. Fair enough, the government is giving more money to forces for doing this, but a line needs to be drawn between their usefullness and overkill (rant to come soon!). Surely if we recruited half the amount of PCSO's then some of the police funding shortfall could be paid for? No??


As Tesco say - every litte helps!

Doh!

Firstly my apologies. I upgraded to Blogger Beta and it seems to have done a few things such as problems leaving comments and links. If you do experience a problem please leave a comment/email me then I can rectify it!

Thanks for bearing with me! I will update very shortly with a fun exciting . . . . sorry, fell asleep!

Excerpts from the Cynical Side

I have discovered a new cop blog!

Its called Excerpts from the Cynical Side and with any luck will fill in the gaps of all the blogs which seem to be dissapearing lately!

Also apologies for the change of template etc! I am trying a few things out! Let me know how you feel about the changes though!