So you go away for a couple of weeks, sent up an out of office reply so that people know your away with a contact number/email to get to you if they need to.
Simple really isnt it!
Nope! Obviously there are the hundreds of emails about John Sproggins wanting to talk to an officer as they have an appointment but cant remember the officers name, or PC Gimpoid has "misplaced" their warrant card, or a box of laxatives was found in one of the cars, whos is it. Once these have been weeded out as not relevant/not interesting there are the ones from the case builders wanting more details about a case/pnb photocopy. Then there is the email saying "Its urgent, please get back asap" then another email saying "why have you not replied??"
Hello - im not here! Hence the out of office reply stating "I am not here until xxdatexx, if you require me please call me on my number which can be found here *link to intranet directory with details in* or email me at *link to intranet diary with details in* and I will get back to you straight away."
Now for those of you who are not familer with an out of office reply, when you email someone you get a reply stating that the recipient is not there and the above message comes up too.
Yet still I get bombarded with emails asking me to account for my lack of replies! Perhaps I should send postcards instead?
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Apologies
Apologies to readers of this blog, I have not been able to update lately due to certain things but dont worry - a new entry will appear in the next couple of days!
Thanks
Thanks
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
If You Were PM
I was recently talking to a friend about various things and catching up with them as I have not spoken to them for ages and we somehow got on the topic of what would be done if we ran the country and came up with a few brief ideas.
1) The NHS. Lets face it, its in a state! Fair enough I dont know much about it but perhaps by getting rid of all the managers and having people who have worked at the "bottom" (as in actually work on the floor and know whats going on) let these people become "managers" and run things as they know how it works! Get rid of targets etc and let hospitals do what they are there to do.
2) Foreign Policy. Why should we be more interested (as a PM) to whats going on hundreds of thousands of miles away than whats going on in this country. Two Words - George Bush. Lets face it, we are not going to get anything back from him. What was said in the film Love Actually? Something along the lines of "You can have what you want unless its something we dont want you to have?" Something like that - I think that sums it up pretty damn well. Oh and if we butt out of other countrys business then perhaps we wont be such a target for terrorists. Perhaps!
3) The Police Corporation. Why Corporation? Because that is what it seems to be now. Its all targets and targets and deadlines and paperwork. Its not a force or even a service anymore! Police officers are to be just that and not politicians, targets will be a thing of the past and not used in such a way to alter outcomes of cases in order to get a sanctioned detection when words of advice will simply do etc. Get rid of some restrictive stuff - make offenders feel like offenders and simply not customers, victims feel like justice has been done etc (although this is probably up to the courts!) This one could go on forever!
4) Attempt to redo the benefits system. Why should Lazy Liam get benefits simply because he cant (be arsed) to find a job?? Fair enough if you genuinly have a reason why you cant work but there has always got to be a job somewhere, yes it may be absolutely shit but to just claim that you cant find one and being lazy is no excuse. Especially when you go to these houses and they have TV's bigger than you and other such luxury items!
Some of these are not practical but are just a starting idea! So what things would you do if you were PM?
1) The NHS. Lets face it, its in a state! Fair enough I dont know much about it but perhaps by getting rid of all the managers and having people who have worked at the "bottom" (as in actually work on the floor and know whats going on) let these people become "managers" and run things as they know how it works! Get rid of targets etc and let hospitals do what they are there to do.
2) Foreign Policy. Why should we be more interested (as a PM) to whats going on hundreds of thousands of miles away than whats going on in this country. Two Words - George Bush. Lets face it, we are not going to get anything back from him. What was said in the film Love Actually? Something along the lines of "You can have what you want unless its something we dont want you to have?" Something like that - I think that sums it up pretty damn well. Oh and if we butt out of other countrys business then perhaps we wont be such a target for terrorists. Perhaps!
3) The Police Corporation. Why Corporation? Because that is what it seems to be now. Its all targets and targets and deadlines and paperwork. Its not a force or even a service anymore! Police officers are to be just that and not politicians, targets will be a thing of the past and not used in such a way to alter outcomes of cases in order to get a sanctioned detection when words of advice will simply do etc. Get rid of some restrictive stuff - make offenders feel like offenders and simply not customers, victims feel like justice has been done etc (although this is probably up to the courts!) This one could go on forever!
4) Attempt to redo the benefits system. Why should Lazy Liam get benefits simply because he cant (be arsed) to find a job?? Fair enough if you genuinly have a reason why you cant work but there has always got to be a job somewhere, yes it may be absolutely shit but to just claim that you cant find one and being lazy is no excuse. Especially when you go to these houses and they have TV's bigger than you and other such luxury items!
Some of these are not practical but are just a starting idea! So what things would you do if you were PM?
Sunday, August 13, 2006
What A Specials Documentary Would Be Like
Having been around on PS.com for a while you see various ridiculous questions come up time and time again which make you think "why oh why" or "oh my god, these people walk the streets"
There have been various topics on how come there are no documentarys on Specials. Well, its just as well that there isnt as it will probably be terrible!
All credit goes to Basil Fawlty of PS.com in this excellent thread here whichis absolutely hilarious and is why there shouldnt be one! A sense of humour is needed! Feel free to add your own scene!
Without further delay, here it is!
--------------------------------
THE WORD 'SPECIALS' FADES ONTO THE SCREEN, ACCOMPANIED BY A SIREN/TECHNO SOUNDTRACK AND SET AGAINST A FLASHING BLUE LIGHT IN MIDDLE
FADE OUT TO BLACK
Narrator: "Special Constables are unpaid volunteers that serve in police forces across the UK. In this series, we follow Specials at stations in three different counties, to see what they do, how they do it, and why."
FADE IN TO CRANE SHOT OF ANYTOWN POLICE STATION, ANYTOWN.
SC Jones (o/s): "I've been a Special for about 3 weeks now, and I very much enjoy it. I've done about 5 shifts, and have got the hang of it already!"
Narrator: "SC Jones is a Special Constable with AnyCounty Police Service, based at Anytown station"
CAMERA FOLLOWS SC JONES AS HE PULLS INTO ANYTOWN POLICE STATION CAR PARK IN HIS PERSONAL CAR. HE GETS OUT, TAKES THE BLUE LIGHT STROBE FROM THE DASHBOARD AND PUTS IT IN THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT, ALSO TURNING OFF HIS RADIO SCANNER.
CUT TO SHOT OF SC JONES IN LOCKER ROOM, PUTTING ON EQUIPMENT IN PREPARATION FOR DUTY.
SC Jones: "We get issued the same equipment as a regular, but I like to be fully prepared for anything I may come across on duty, so I took the liberty of supplementing the issued kit with some of my own."
AS SC JONES PUT ON HIS EQUIPMENT, HE SHOWS IT TO THE CAMERA AND DETAILS IT
SC Jones: "This, for example, is my SureAsHellFire 9TP 150v 100,000 LED 9mw torch, the size of a thimble and which nestles neatly onto the spare radio clip here on my body armour. We get issued Maglites but they're not bright enough and, well, I just like torches, 'cos they're metal and make things bright. Plus you can never have too many on you!"
"We don't get any places to put our necessary documents on our uniform, so I bought this A3 document holder, which clips onto my belt. I have all the essential paperwork kept in it, and am able to compile a full file from scratch whilst out on the street. I keep it in my car when I finish duty as well, in case I pull anyone over who is committing a traffic offence."
"This is my all-in-one wonder tool - it's got all the tools of a Swiss Army Knife, plus a laser pointer and seatbelt cutter. Some of my colleagues say I really don't need it and that they've gone some 20-30 years without ever having to need one, but you never know what you might face when you turn a corner."
"I have eleven pairs of boots, depending on the terrain I'll be patrolling on. I bring two at a time to the station and leave the rest in my car. Once I have about three months in, I'm going to apply to do the Advanced Driving Course so I can work with Traffic! Until then, I'm stuck on foot."
"I've also bought this utility vest as the duty belt isn't practical for the equipment I carry. Plus it kinda makes me look like a firearms officer, which is pretty cool! Right, I think that's everything, just need to go upstairs and do a little paperwork for a job I did whilst off-duty last week."
CAMERA FOLLOWS SC JONES AS HE ENTERS A REPORT WRITING ROOM...
CUT TO SC JONES IN THE 'IT ROOM' AT A COMPUTER TERMINAL, TYPING A REPORT.
Narrator: "SC Jones is composing a file for an incident he was involved in off-duty"
SC Jones: "A few weeks back I was with my training intake on a night out, when I saw someone drop some litter on the floor, with scant regard for the negative effect it had on the environment or that it would cost the taxpayer for it to be cleaned up. I joined this job to make a difference, no matter how small, and having now got the really cool warrant card in a nice holder with a big shiny badge, this was my chance to make good in the world."
Interviewer: "So what did you do?"
SC Jones: "Well I approached the guy and said I was a police officer, that I was disgusted he would have the audacity to foul the pavement, and that if he didn't pick it up straight away he would be arrested. The guy looked at me and laughed, so I showed him the badge and said "There's the badge, there's the proof. Pick it up now or you're spending a night in the cells."
Interviewer: "Doesn't a police officer's power in the UK come from the warrant card, not the badge?"
SC Jones: "Does it? Oh. Must remember that for next time. Anyway, I told him he was under arrest and took him by the arm and led him to the side of the pavement. He looked quite bewildered, but then all criminals do. I phoned 999 and requested a van. A van turned up and two officers came out. I relayed the circs to them, very proud that I'd had my first ever arrest. They looked less than pleased. One spoke to my prisoner whilst the other took me to one side and said some nonsense about wasting tieing up vans and officer's time, disproportionality, cost of keeping the guy in a cell, prosecuting him etc. compared to the offence and suggested I should just leave it. I wasn't having this - it was MY arrest and MY prisoner, and I insisted that this violation of Her Majesty's laws should not go unchallenged. So the officer sighed, spoke to his colleague and they came back to me.
The other officer said he had the guy's details, and if I REALLY insisted on doing this then a summons would be far more appropriate. I could live with this, so the other officer dearrested the male as I had no idea how to do that as we'd not covered arresting people in training, and the officers advised me to ask my Specials Sergeant how to do a summons file. And *presses print* THERE she is! All set and ready to be sent to the CPS so that this blaggard can pay for his crimes."
Interviewer: "What's your take on off duty intervention?"
SC Jones: "At the end of the day, I swore an oath to uphold the law. I didn't swear an oath to uphold the law when I book myself on duty. Remember the old adage: A police officer is NEVER off-duty. If I see an injustice being committed, no matter where (except if I'm out of my force area or any neighbouring jurisdiction), no matter when, no matter what, then I, as a super-hero crime fighter, shall not hesitate to intervene to protect the good citizens of this city. One shouldn't let little things like risk to personal safety or not having any protective equipment or backup get in the way of doing your duty".
Interviewer: "Erm, ok. So what happens now?"
SC Jones: "I'm plopping this into the 'Admin Out' tray then finding a regular I can go on duty with
CAMERA FOLLOWS SC JONES AS HE ENTERS THE SERGEANT'S OFFICE...
To be continued! Keep up to date on the documentary by looking at the thread here
There have been various topics on how come there are no documentarys on Specials. Well, its just as well that there isnt as it will probably be terrible!
All credit goes to Basil Fawlty of PS.com in this excellent thread here whichis absolutely hilarious and is why there shouldnt be one! A sense of humour is needed! Feel free to add your own scene!
Without further delay, here it is!
--------------------------------
THE WORD 'SPECIALS' FADES ONTO THE SCREEN, ACCOMPANIED BY A SIREN/TECHNO SOUNDTRACK AND SET AGAINST A FLASHING BLUE LIGHT IN MIDDLE
FADE OUT TO BLACK
Narrator: "Special Constables are unpaid volunteers that serve in police forces across the UK. In this series, we follow Specials at stations in three different counties, to see what they do, how they do it, and why."
FADE IN TO CRANE SHOT OF ANYTOWN POLICE STATION, ANYTOWN.
SC Jones (o/s): "I've been a Special for about 3 weeks now, and I very much enjoy it. I've done about 5 shifts, and have got the hang of it already!"
Narrator: "SC Jones is a Special Constable with AnyCounty Police Service, based at Anytown station"
CAMERA FOLLOWS SC JONES AS HE PULLS INTO ANYTOWN POLICE STATION CAR PARK IN HIS PERSONAL CAR. HE GETS OUT, TAKES THE BLUE LIGHT STROBE FROM THE DASHBOARD AND PUTS IT IN THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT, ALSO TURNING OFF HIS RADIO SCANNER.
CUT TO SHOT OF SC JONES IN LOCKER ROOM, PUTTING ON EQUIPMENT IN PREPARATION FOR DUTY.
SC Jones: "We get issued the same equipment as a regular, but I like to be fully prepared for anything I may come across on duty, so I took the liberty of supplementing the issued kit with some of my own."
AS SC JONES PUT ON HIS EQUIPMENT, HE SHOWS IT TO THE CAMERA AND DETAILS IT
SC Jones: "This, for example, is my SureAsHellFire 9TP 150v 100,000 LED 9mw torch, the size of a thimble and which nestles neatly onto the spare radio clip here on my body armour. We get issued Maglites but they're not bright enough and, well, I just like torches, 'cos they're metal and make things bright. Plus you can never have too many on you!"
"We don't get any places to put our necessary documents on our uniform, so I bought this A3 document holder, which clips onto my belt. I have all the essential paperwork kept in it, and am able to compile a full file from scratch whilst out on the street. I keep it in my car when I finish duty as well, in case I pull anyone over who is committing a traffic offence."
"This is my all-in-one wonder tool - it's got all the tools of a Swiss Army Knife, plus a laser pointer and seatbelt cutter. Some of my colleagues say I really don't need it and that they've gone some 20-30 years without ever having to need one, but you never know what you might face when you turn a corner."
"I have eleven pairs of boots, depending on the terrain I'll be patrolling on. I bring two at a time to the station and leave the rest in my car. Once I have about three months in, I'm going to apply to do the Advanced Driving Course so I can work with Traffic! Until then, I'm stuck on foot."
"I've also bought this utility vest as the duty belt isn't practical for the equipment I carry. Plus it kinda makes me look like a firearms officer, which is pretty cool! Right, I think that's everything, just need to go upstairs and do a little paperwork for a job I did whilst off-duty last week."
CAMERA FOLLOWS SC JONES AS HE ENTERS A REPORT WRITING ROOM...
CUT TO SC JONES IN THE 'IT ROOM' AT A COMPUTER TERMINAL, TYPING A REPORT.
Narrator: "SC Jones is composing a file for an incident he was involved in off-duty"
SC Jones: "A few weeks back I was with my training intake on a night out, when I saw someone drop some litter on the floor, with scant regard for the negative effect it had on the environment or that it would cost the taxpayer for it to be cleaned up. I joined this job to make a difference, no matter how small, and having now got the really cool warrant card in a nice holder with a big shiny badge, this was my chance to make good in the world."
Interviewer: "So what did you do?"
SC Jones: "Well I approached the guy and said I was a police officer, that I was disgusted he would have the audacity to foul the pavement, and that if he didn't pick it up straight away he would be arrested. The guy looked at me and laughed, so I showed him the badge and said "There's the badge, there's the proof. Pick it up now or you're spending a night in the cells."
Interviewer: "Doesn't a police officer's power in the UK come from the warrant card, not the badge?"
SC Jones: "Does it? Oh. Must remember that for next time. Anyway, I told him he was under arrest and took him by the arm and led him to the side of the pavement. He looked quite bewildered, but then all criminals do. I phoned 999 and requested a van. A van turned up and two officers came out. I relayed the circs to them, very proud that I'd had my first ever arrest. They looked less than pleased. One spoke to my prisoner whilst the other took me to one side and said some nonsense about wasting tieing up vans and officer's time, disproportionality, cost of keeping the guy in a cell, prosecuting him etc. compared to the offence and suggested I should just leave it. I wasn't having this - it was MY arrest and MY prisoner, and I insisted that this violation of Her Majesty's laws should not go unchallenged. So the officer sighed, spoke to his colleague and they came back to me.
The other officer said he had the guy's details, and if I REALLY insisted on doing this then a summons would be far more appropriate. I could live with this, so the other officer dearrested the male as I had no idea how to do that as we'd not covered arresting people in training, and the officers advised me to ask my Specials Sergeant how to do a summons file. And *presses print* THERE she is! All set and ready to be sent to the CPS so that this blaggard can pay for his crimes."
Interviewer: "What's your take on off duty intervention?"
SC Jones: "At the end of the day, I swore an oath to uphold the law. I didn't swear an oath to uphold the law when I book myself on duty. Remember the old adage: A police officer is NEVER off-duty. If I see an injustice being committed, no matter where (except if I'm out of my force area or any neighbouring jurisdiction), no matter when, no matter what, then I, as a super-hero crime fighter, shall not hesitate to intervene to protect the good citizens of this city. One shouldn't let little things like risk to personal safety or not having any protective equipment or backup get in the way of doing your duty".
Interviewer: "Erm, ok. So what happens now?"
SC Jones: "I'm plopping this into the 'Admin Out' tray then finding a regular I can go on duty with
CAMERA FOLLOWS SC JONES AS HE ENTERS THE SERGEANT'S OFFICE...
To be continued! Keep up to date on the documentary by looking at the thread here
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Welcome! (and Goodnight!)
Sadly Semper-Fi has ended his absolutely fantastic blog, but I would like to say thankyou to him for writing it and telling us many many great tales and all the best for your future.
However, I have found two new blogs to keep me entertained!
PC Bloggs - WPC
Disgruntled Copper
Both are great reads!
Enjoy!
However, I have found two new blogs to keep me entertained!
PC Bloggs - WPC
Disgruntled Copper
Both are great reads!
Enjoy!
Monday, August 07, 2006
Fireman Sam's Prank
Ever thought what it would be like to get into a tumbledryer and turn it on?? Well this is exactly what a Greater Manchester Firefighter did!(note that I say fighter, not man as this is clearly not acceptable in todays PC society!)The story can be found here
So now officials are investigating this. Right ok . . . this is obviously a priority! It seems that fun is not allowed, and is this really as dangerous as going into burining buildings? It was a bit of fun! Ah, but on the otherhand I suppose we cant have this sort of thing happening now can we. The public will be screaming that the fire service took so long as they were all playing with tumble dryers . . . . well, you never know!
I do wonder whether Professional Standards/equivalents have their sense of humour removed which is a shame!
Below is a list of equvalent things that one may find themselves doing in a police environment when in the same mindset with these firefighters:
*Kitting up in full PSU gear and hitting each other
*When a collegue falls asleep on the van near the end of the shift, park up and leave him (or her) in it - locked!
*Put on an inspectors jacket and trick naive probationers into making teas for the team
*Email the shift from someones PC whilst they are out the office declaring undying love for the inspector
Insert your own pranks/comedy moments here (ie. add a comment!)
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Crime of the Century
Have a read of this news story and see what you think!!
Three 12year olds had climbed into a tree to make a den. Pretty normal thing to do, most kids (used to) do exactly the same thing in this gorgeous weather than stay inside and play on their XBox.
Anyway, someone had decided since they were getting up to no good to ring the police (probably as a 999 call as they most likely felt threatened in some way!)
The next thing that happens is the kids had been arrested and "locked up". They had their "shoes removed, mugshots, DNA samples and mouth swabs were taken." Well this bit is normal, that happens to EVERY prisoner that enters custody.
However, why on earth were these kids brought into custody?? For god sake, they were building a tree (as far as the story tells us anyway!)
I assume the resident would have been far happier for these kids to be smoking drinking and making noise and causing distress for people??
What happened to disretion from the officers? Did they forget what they used to do when they were kids, or is it that if they had done nothing (which I would have probably done, with the facts given) then a supervisor would have kicked their ass for not taking "positive action in line with force policy" or not getting a sanctioned detection!?
One thing is for sure - these kids wont be forgetting this experience! Maybe it will deter them from committing any crimes in the future! . . . . maybe one nighters should be compulsory for all kids!
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