This has probably been posted already but hey!
George Phillips of Scroatsville was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.
George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no".
Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.
George said , " Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up.
Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, a dog handler, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Thursday, January 11, 2007
PC Copperfield
It appears DC has been on the news again which is brilliant! Also seems that we may be in the same/neighbouring force too.
Alas, here is the link.
BBC NEWS
Alas, here is the link.
BBC NEWS
Monday, January 08, 2007
Hell Hath No Fury
..like a lesbian domestic. Not the PC word to use, but I dont really care as im not saying it in an offensive way!
Anyhow, arrive to the flat, open the door and see blood everywhere.
"Shit, whats happened" I think to myself. I find someone on the floor, and this once again makes me very worried.
Its ok though, they are cleaning up the blood. The person causing the blood is her partner, Anne. Carol was a nice lass and easy to talk to. She explained that her partner isnt all there in the head at the moment, and this has been made worse by alcohol. She then gets Anne's sister on the phone to tell me exactly the same thing.
There is glass all over the floor, so the obvious question of "how did this happen" is asked.
Anne had smashed a photo of her and Carol, and cut her hand. She didnt want to be seen by ambulance and would rather bleed to death - apparently.
I kid you not there was blood all over the floor and wallks - it looked like a scene out of Kill Bill.
No offences, but one has to go to prevent further breach of the peace. Now this is where the problems start.
Both Anne and Carol are very emotional and crying their eyes out and shouting, although this is mainly Anne. Anne is shouting how much she loves Carol and doesnt want to leave her.
Hormones!
Now Anne was quite, how can I put it, erm, Butch! She began to get very rowdy, but then was calmed down and insisted on hugging my collegue, covering her in blood.
Her mother then turned up (Anne's, not my collegues!) and my goodness, she put her in place! Well, for a while she did anyway. We went round and round in circles
We got halfway back to the nick and as I was updating control about the sitation, we got a further call to say that Anne had returned.
So back we go to the flat, it turns out that she had literally jumped out of her mums car halfway to her mums, and used her keys to get back into the flat.
We were all very very pissed off with the situation, so we went to arrest her and take her in (her mum didnt return) when we went through another cycle:
We didnt get anymore calls to the address and got another unit to check all was in order later.
Worst domestic I have been to though - quite odd. No time to get the blood off us - off to some more grade ones.
Anyhow, arrive to the flat, open the door and see blood everywhere.
"Shit, whats happened" I think to myself. I find someone on the floor, and this once again makes me very worried.
Its ok though, they are cleaning up the blood. The person causing the blood is her partner, Anne. Carol was a nice lass and easy to talk to. She explained that her partner isnt all there in the head at the moment, and this has been made worse by alcohol. She then gets Anne's sister on the phone to tell me exactly the same thing.
There is glass all over the floor, so the obvious question of "how did this happen" is asked.
Anne had smashed a photo of her and Carol, and cut her hand. She didnt want to be seen by ambulance and would rather bleed to death - apparently.
I kid you not there was blood all over the floor and wallks - it looked like a scene out of Kill Bill.
No offences, but one has to go to prevent further breach of the peace. Now this is where the problems start.
Both Anne and Carol are very emotional and crying their eyes out and shouting, although this is mainly Anne. Anne is shouting how much she loves Carol and doesnt want to leave her.
Hormones!
Now Anne was quite, how can I put it, erm, Butch! She began to get very rowdy, but then was calmed down and insisted on hugging my collegue, covering her in blood.
Her mother then turned up (Anne's, not my collegues!) and my goodness, she put her in place! Well, for a while she did anyway. We went round and round in circles
- Tell Anne she is going to her mums
- Anne screaming to Carol that she loves her
- Carol screaming that she wants her to go
- Anne's mum telling Anne to shut up and get out
- Get Anne to the door, then back to stage one
We got halfway back to the nick and as I was updating control about the sitation, we got a further call to say that Anne had returned.
So back we go to the flat, it turns out that she had literally jumped out of her mums car halfway to her mums, and used her keys to get back into the flat.
We were all very very pissed off with the situation, so we went to arrest her and take her in (her mum didnt return) when we went through another cycle:
- Tell Anne she is going to her mums
- Anne screaming to Carol that she loves her
- Carol screaming that she wants her to go
- Get Anne to the door, then back to stage one
We didnt get anymore calls to the address and got another unit to check all was in order later.
Worst domestic I have been to though - quite odd. No time to get the blood off us - off to some more grade ones.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Taking The Piss
Yahoo News Story
Police said on Friday they were hunting a man who stole a urinal from a pub toilet.
Police said on Friday they were hunting a man who stole a urinal from a pub toilet.
The suspect walked into the Royal Oak pub in Southampton, ordered half a pint of beer and then made several visits to the men's toilet.
There he carefully removed a white urinal from the wall, stuffed it into a rucksack and was captured on closed circuit television walking out with the bulging sack on his back.
"He made a very, very expert job of dismantling it from the wall and turning the water off. A very professional job," landlord Alan Dreja said in a video posted on the Southampton Daily Echo newspaper's Web site.
A police spokesman said the thief may have been a tradesman.
"One of the theories is the guy is some sort of cut-price plumber who is going round and stealing parts to order," he said.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
The Storm
My goodness, what a night New Years was!
Firstly, the night shift had, which is a first I have ever seen, 10 double crewed cars. Not just double crewed, but response ones too! Usually lucky if we have two on a shift let alone 10! Ofcourse this isnt taking into account the late shift which were on until about 0300, and all the town centre vans which were about too. There was also all the traffic cars knocking about too.
First off, a small get together of youths at a house gone wrong. Someone turned up drunk and started to trash the place. Once he was out the house he decided to try and attack my collegue and was carted off to custody by another unit.
Next thing was someone who had gone into a house and trashed it and gone to bed. No signs of forced entry into the house except for one small window which had been broken (wasnt easy to see it had!)
I opened the window and jumped into the house so that we could open the door and let the dog in. Turned out he just wanted to sleep, how very random. Once the dog scared him and 4 traffic officers had wrestled him to the floor, he was arrested and taken back. I didnt realise the time until someone said "Happy New Year". It did feel quite odd as whilst the majority of Scroatsville were enjoying the new year, whilst we were wrestling with scroates who opted to be shits for the new year. How strange it was.
We then attended a burglary which had just occured. Some little scroates had entered someones garage and from there gone into the house through a door and taken peoples bags and car keys. This was whilst the occupents and friends were in the room next door celebrating. A car was taken with the keys and was sighted later, but no units could find it.
Once we took details and statements etc we resumed and passed a group of youths. We started to search them when one of them was a bit cocky.
Me: Do you have anything on you I should know about
Him: Yeah I have a knife (so many people say this trying to be funny)
Me: Where is it then
Him: In my pocket
I then go to his pocket expecting him to be joking about trying to look good infront of his mates and see a handle. I pull this handle out to find a huge bloody meat cleaver!! He is very quickly handcuffed and arrested. My collegue has no idea what has gone on until he sees the cleaver in my hand.
The rest of the night is spent doing paper work for all the above and other stuff we did which wasnt really worthy of mention.
For the vast majority of the night, most of it for everyone was going from job to job to job. From about 00:00 01/01/07 to 05:00 in the county there were about 150 grade one incidents deployed to. Quite busy!
New years day wasnt too bad though. The usual domestics, recovered the stolen car which was taken from the burglary I attended on New Years.
Observations were put out for someone driving dangerously, I went and did an area search for this car and found it. The driver blew 138 at the station! That was the first of the "interesting" part of this drink driver. Seized his car for no insurance too whilst I was at it! There was a lot more but sadly I cant say what on here!
Firstly, the night shift had, which is a first I have ever seen, 10 double crewed cars. Not just double crewed, but response ones too! Usually lucky if we have two on a shift let alone 10! Ofcourse this isnt taking into account the late shift which were on until about 0300, and all the town centre vans which were about too. There was also all the traffic cars knocking about too.
First off, a small get together of youths at a house gone wrong. Someone turned up drunk and started to trash the place. Once he was out the house he decided to try and attack my collegue and was carted off to custody by another unit.
Next thing was someone who had gone into a house and trashed it and gone to bed. No signs of forced entry into the house except for one small window which had been broken (wasnt easy to see it had!)
I opened the window and jumped into the house so that we could open the door and let the dog in. Turned out he just wanted to sleep, how very random. Once the dog scared him and 4 traffic officers had wrestled him to the floor, he was arrested and taken back. I didnt realise the time until someone said "Happy New Year". It did feel quite odd as whilst the majority of Scroatsville were enjoying the new year, whilst we were wrestling with scroates who opted to be shits for the new year. How strange it was.
We then attended a burglary which had just occured. Some little scroates had entered someones garage and from there gone into the house through a door and taken peoples bags and car keys. This was whilst the occupents and friends were in the room next door celebrating. A car was taken with the keys and was sighted later, but no units could find it.
Once we took details and statements etc we resumed and passed a group of youths. We started to search them when one of them was a bit cocky.
Me: Do you have anything on you I should know about
Him: Yeah I have a knife (so many people say this trying to be funny)
Me: Where is it then
Him: In my pocket
I then go to his pocket expecting him to be joking about trying to look good infront of his mates and see a handle. I pull this handle out to find a huge bloody meat cleaver!! He is very quickly handcuffed and arrested. My collegue has no idea what has gone on until he sees the cleaver in my hand.
The rest of the night is spent doing paper work for all the above and other stuff we did which wasnt really worthy of mention.
For the vast majority of the night, most of it for everyone was going from job to job to job. From about 00:00 01/01/07 to 05:00 in the county there were about 150 grade one incidents deployed to. Quite busy!
New years day wasnt too bad though. The usual domestics, recovered the stolen car which was taken from the burglary I attended on New Years.
Observations were put out for someone driving dangerously, I went and did an area search for this car and found it. The driver blew 138 at the station! That was the first of the "interesting" part of this drink driver. Seized his car for no insurance too whilst I was at it! There was a lot more but sadly I cant say what on here!
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