End of the Shift

0400 hours on way back to the office after 10 hour shift. Nearly there when coming towards you stopped on a roundabout is a car. There is no other traffic and no reason why this car would be stopped.

Pull a U-Turn and decide to pull the vehicle over for a moving traffic offense.
Matey Boy (Alfie) gets out his car and realises he has a flat tyre.

Ahhh so this might be why he has stopped. Mysef and my collegue then give him a hand to get the stuff out of his car to change the tyre as he doesnt seem to know what he is doing. Still something quite not right. Inside the car smelt a bit, but I blamed the friend of Alfie who was totally pissed, and looked unshowered! Still something not right.

I then requested Alfie to provide a breath test and asked him if he had had anything to drink
He replied no (whilst attempting to change the wheel, yet not having a clue!)

Me: Blow in this
Alfie: No
Me: Blow in this, faliure to do so is an offence for which I will arrest you for
Alfie: But I dont want to blow, I have had a drink so will be over the limit
Me: You might not though, so just blow, what have you got to lose?
Alfie: But I am over the limit though
Me: Fair enough, your nicked

*apply cuffs*

So we stuck him in our car when he decides to kick off. Nice.
Van called, the sergeant gets out, grabs Alfie and chucks him into the cage with a smile on his face. I can only assume it was the smile of "not long until I can go home!!"

Since his mate is stranded out of town we offer to take him to the nick where he can get a bus. He seemed pleasant about this so we take him.
Out the back of the nick he decides once he is out the car he wants to see his mate. He then trys to get back into the car but is shown the way to the bus station and we go in the back gate of the nick.

In custody the fool decides that he doesnt want to blow on the machine (he is very likely to be under the limit now) and after the sergeant and a PC try to convince him, he still refuses.

Fine, whatever. He is then charged with failure to provide and we take him back to his car to pick up some possessions from it (we keep the keys and hand them into front office for him to pick up in morning)

Now its daylight we manage to piece together what has actually happened. His alloy wheel is totally smashed, and airbags in the sides of his car have gone off. There is also a huge dent in the kerb before the roundabout.

Thank god it wasnt a car he went into!!

Anyway, got court date coming soon, obviously he doesnt seem to think he is guilty of failing to provide . . . . how that one works I dont know!!