Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares

For those locked up in one of Scroatsville's Cells, they get a bed, and more important, a meal cooked by our gormet chef.

Breakfast

Full English - Rice Crispies or Corn Flakes With Milk
Continental - Rice Crispies or Corn Flakes Without Milk

*A sprinkle of sugar available for those with an exotic taste*

Lunch

Cold Buffet: Rice Crispies or Corn Flakes with or without Milk
Hot Selection: A variety of coloured slops flavoured to represent cuisine from around the world

How Inconsiderate!

The youths of today are so inconsiderate. Stolen car, 4 up, had been giving us the runaround all night. Seeing as myself and a collegue were the nights proactive unit (plain IRV with all the lights and gizmo's). Traffic were hovering around the area as were some tutor constables and their probationers, and another plain clothes unit (myself and my collegue being plain clothes too) as was a doggie man.

After numerous sightings the adrenaline is going as we prepare for a possible pursuit, and ofcourse, a decamp. How gutted we all were when the inconsiderate little gits decide that they dont want a pursuit, so they drive the car into a field, and set fire to it. Out everyone gets and does an area search for them.

Apparently (bless them) the probationers hadnt a clue what to do, and before they knew it, two "chavs" came running up from the field, and nearly got pounced on and sprayed!
"Its us, dont spray!!!" It was the other plain clothes unit! So they nearly got a faceful of pava, just like one of the little gits did.
Ofcourse, they had done nothing wrong and we had "sprayed them for doin fuk all innit ya fukin nob'eads" which was followed by "i aint dun nuffink rong - you best have nicked the ova's"
Oops - a slight admission of some sort of guilt there!

Sadly, it wasnt a huge incident, which in many respects is good, but since it was the end of the shift and nothing had really happened was kind of a let down from the cat and mouse game earlier in the night trying to find them!

Outcome: several arrests, one suspect sprayed, one plain clothes officer nearly pounced on, one doggie on the loose with officers staying well out of its way as it was hungry, and a couple of probationers who looked absolutely lost!

On the bright side, I enjoyed a lovely doner kebab and no paperwork

Music To Police To

I have added to my sidebar a nice little thing, a bit like a radio, where you can listen to tunes! The ones selected (took absolutely ages as there was a minimum of 35 or something daft!) all have some relation to policing!

Any further suggestions let me know! Just press play and your away! Enjoy!

Being The Boss

What would you do if you were the Chief for the day? (There we go PC Bloggs, put a photo of a female Chief rather than a male one as they are more understanding of peoples needs than a male one due to all that testosterone!)

Anyway, what would I do? (Stole the idea for this blog from PS.com)

I would be very tempted to change the uniform. There is nothing worse than having to run after some scroate with a shirt and tie on not to mention the other numerous kit.

Would also have stabvests which have a zip down the middle rather than having to put it over your head - it tends to ruin peoples hair - apparently.
One thing for sure would be have more cars available so officers dont have to hang around for ages waiting for the shift before to return with cars!

I cant speak for regular officers for a lot of stuff, so will do this from a specials point of view.

1) Offer a bounty to specials doing a certain amount of hours
2) Invest more in the training of specials - after all, once attested, they will (hopefully) work a hell of a lot of hours - for free!
3) Give specials more PSU training - this means that instead of having to piss off regular officers to come in on rest days to do it, can get specials who will drop everything to do it!
4) Training is ongoing. This includes doing paperwork and putting together files - even if they are basic files. This means that regular officers wont be pestered into completing specials paperwork whilst they bugger off home ontime

There are many other things I would want to do - sadly I cant think of any more!

Please do add your own!

Hug A Hoodie

Or at least show some love!

I was on my way to the gym today, so had my hoodie on, t shirt underneath and my tracksuit bottoms on. Needless to say, I looked a proper chav.
Thought whilst on my way, I will stop off to do a quick bit of shopping as I will be too lazy to later.

In I go. The bloke giving out baskets looked at me as if I was going to nut him one, and I had to help myself to a basket.

I go up an aisle which is a little busy, and ask an old lady if I could get past please. Her reaction? She flinched and ran a mile!

When I got to the checkout the person infront of me decided to hold onto her bag tightly whilst keeping her eyes on me.

So people, next time you flinch, or feel threatened, do think about David Cameron and his "hoodie hugging" and "hoodie loving"